


Afraid

by quotesandmiracles



Series: october 2020 [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Gen, Justin Tabris needs a hug, Sleep Deprivation, Stream of Consciousness, a lot of sleep, and sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:42:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26755264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quotesandmiracles/pseuds/quotesandmiracles
Summary: Maybe I can turn back, he thinks, just… go away, leave all this to Alistair, to Morrigan, to whoever they may recruit.
Series: october 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948888
Kudos: 8





	Afraid

Justin watches the sky — slowly moving clouds, bright dots of stars, thin white crescent of the new moon. It’s close to midnight and everyone else is asleep, he thinks. It’ll be better if he, too, catched some sleep before the next day, the road, the battles. It’ll be better.

He stays where he is.

Justin’s dreams aren’t his anymore, taken by thin bones and dark wings and the disease — the filth, the blight. The Archdemon, he knows.

Knowing doesn’t make sleep any easier, because that’s not the only thing Justin knows.

He would need to find the army. He would need to fight _it_ , to fight the whole Horde, to _win_ — and he cannot imagine the world where that would be possible. Maybe he would also need to create this world, and that thought doesn’t bring him any more comfort.

He shivers under a particularly cold gust of wind.

 _Maybe I can turn back_ , he thinks, _just… go away, leave all this to Alistair, to Morrigan, to whoever they may recruit_. It’d be a cowardice, of course, but… He’s just a man. One man. He’s pretty good with the sword, he’s got smart hands, but that’s all that he got, isn’t?

What, exactly, Duncan saw in him? What Alistair and Morrigan saw in him, why are they following him? He isn’t a leader.

Except, apparently, now he is.

Fire cracks, sends sparks into the air, and Justin shifts his gaze to it, and his thoughts to the Horde.

It’s — enormous, he thinks, is a right word. Enormous and alien, seemingly unstoppable… An entire army turned away and ran from it, right? Of course, the question about that particular event still stands, and he is smarter than mentioning it in front of Alistair, but…

But it isn’t the first Blight. It’s the fifth, which means that the Horde was defeated four times already. Which means it isn’t unstoppable, so maybe, just maybe, he can do it.

Justin sighs. His thoughts are going in circles.

And it is to be expected — it’s late, he hasn’t got nearly enough sleep in the last few days, and it looks like this one wouldn’t be any different. He needs to try and sleep, like he knows he does, like Alistair keeps telling him, it’s just…

It’s unbearable.

They should make it to the Lothering in a day or two. Maybe he’ll catch up on sleep there, with someone else to worry, to keep the watch, to be the responsible one. Maybe he’ll be able to sleep after they leave it behind.

Maybe.

Maybe all of this wouldn’t be enough and he’ll be just another victim of the Blight, too exhausted to fight back whatever creature will kill him.

Maybe it’s not a bad death.

He lost track of time passed — it may be an hour after midnight, or an hour before sunrise. It doesn’t really matter, isn’t it?

He knows that he should wake Alistair to finish this night’s watch and go to sleep.

He stays where he is.


End file.
